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Below is an article reposted from an Email From Focus on the Family.
How do you overcome pornography addiction? It is a question perplexing millions of people around the world who are struggling with this issue.
Recovery isn't simply a matter of stopping the pornography use. It's about replacing it with something else. Stopping is always difficult, but relapse is almost guaranteed unless the void is filled with something positive. There's no other way to solve the problem in the long term.
Pornography: The Great Counterfeit
Pornography is based on the believable lie that one can have the adventure and reward of sexual engagement without the risk and hard work of a genuine, caring human relationship. This sexually deceptive material wounds its users at the profoundest level because it suffocates the thing they want and need most: life-giving connection with another human being.
By the same token, genuine relationship is the only lasting and reliable antidote to the damaging effects of pornography use. The solution lies in how well the recovering addict is able to learn and implement new relational skills. This doesn't happen overnight. It involves feeling, knowing and labeling one's own emotions and then learning to be emotionally vulnerable while relating to others who are emotionally vulnerable. This vulnerability is critical to three key areas:
- Admitting the Problem: It takes vulnerability to admit a problem and seek help. Notice the words "admit" and "seek help." You can't be healed from sexually addictive behaviors until you're willing and able to say, "I'm not OK. I have a deep, desperate need, and I can't deal with it on my own."
- Staying Sober: It takes vulnerability to become and stay "sober," to surrender your "acting out" (inappropriate sexual behaviors including viewing pornography) and to avoid the various kinds of integrity breaches that so easily entangle pornography addicts.
- Growing in Healthy Intimacy: It takes vulnerability to initiate and grow healthy forms of intimacy and a vibrant, healthy sexual relationship with one's spouse.
Sex that has meaning and purpose — emotionally, relationally, and spiritually — is unknown in the world of pornography. By casting a vision for an honorable sexual relationship in your marriage, you can find freedom from bondage to artificial intimacy.
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